Lurcio rambles on aimlessly

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Dave The Slave
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You thought you`d got rid of me, well you can`t keep a good man down or so i`ve heard. :thumbsup:
Ah yes, now where to begin, at the start may help, the start of where ? Not like i have a script, ad libitum is the way.
The Prologue, firstly Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome. Some of you have listened to my ramblings before, some of you are " newbies ".

What a strange year it has been. Lands far and wide ravaged by plague and pestilence. Pestilence i tell you.
We had to shelter in our abodes, some are more humble than others.
Only key workers were allowed out, luckily Slaves are key workers, although there were other Professions that were more important, the Shopkeepers, Physicians and the Charioteers delivering bog rollium.
The streets were empty, the shelves were empty to start with. There were spectators but no sport but when the sport came back, there were no spectators.

The people had to wear masks, no more smiles or expressions. Ay, What, yes and to you too mate, you may be wearing a mask but i could still hear you. For your information , i did have a Mother and a Father.
Everyone was a potential robber going into a shop, if you could get in, oh the queues, the queues i tell you.
I did hear some slaves were employed to stand in the queue until at the door when the Master or Mistress could walk straight in .

Then there was the Social distancing, 2 meters. Well at the party the Master gave, with copious amounts of wine flowing in abundance, there were plenty of personal space violations, here there and everywhere. :shock: These etching thingys i can use are rather good at highlighting the prose, believe some people call them emojis Now the Master must be an artist, must have a secret studio in the villa somewhere. Only has to say the phrase, " Would you like to come up and see my etchings ? " and the young ladies, enter the inner sanctum, always seems to be when the Mistress of the house is out.

Strange times indeed and so it came to pass, that the 3 wise ones ( have to be PC these days :roll: :roll: ) Blackadderus43, Oxgirlium 34 and Figgister ventured out to the promised land. Followed by their supporters Bors, Easylife, Kenleyboy, Littleboot, Ladybird ,I-Rutus, alloverover, HolzHammer, TerraEngladia, SteveJT, Paint, PeteE and a growing band of disciples as the word spread.
Apologies to anyone not mentioned but there are more names than in a present day telephone directory.

The 3 Wise ones, had copious supplies of Jelly Beans, Gin for nourishment and Roman grots to trade with votive offerings to pave the way. Roman grots ! Well times were tough, most people were on furlough, only receiving part of their pay while staying at home, so a Roman grot was most welcome. For the traditionalists in the audience we must not forget the Francs `n`cents, luckily Littleboot resides in the land of Gaul and unearths the aforementioned on a regular basis.

The promised land became known as the Hub, or to be precise, , The Detecting Hub, for all followers had a common passion, detecting. Hub was a good name, because as more spokes ( followers) were added the larger the rim of knowledge.
As the year progressed, restrictions were eased and the populace began to mass, not realising it would lead to tiers. Detecting has tiers too, Tier 1 is rusty iron, Tier 2 is Silver, Tier 3 Ggggold :Party: and Tier 4 things you could not buy but that were good for the soul, :angel: contentment, peacefulness, nature and its surroundings. the tranquility of solitude listening for a signal.

Then the signal came from the Emperor, due to a 2nd wave and to avoid an ensuing tsunami, we were put into a 2nd lockdown. This time however, more people were required to work to bring in the taxes. Cash was in short supply and credit was becoming the norm. Richer residents had even taking to burying pots of coins, as they were unable to bank them. Senna the Soothsayer, has visions of detectorists in 2000 years using sticks with discs on the end to try and find these pots, which will become to be known as Hoards. No need for Senna to visit Barnardium Castrum, as she has the foresight.

Then towards the end of the year, the miracle that the Physicians had been working on, a vaccine that would protect the people.
To sum the year up, did lockdown 1 work ? No.
Did lockdown 2 work, ? No
Did life return to normal ? No.
In other words, nay, nay and thrice nay, you thought old Lurcio had forgotten that one. :lol: Well i nearly did but you always keep the audience hanging on to the end.

Life did not return to the old normal but to what would become a new normal, the main thing was that mankind survived.
As for my old mate, Davium the Slavitus. Still living up to his name and seems to have been doing well with the Roman currency recently.
Life did not return to the old normal but to what would become a new normal, the main thing was that mankind survived.

As for tonight, just off to the ampitheatre to watch the annual Sports Personality of the Year, socially distanced of course. Quite easy in my case, Scrubba the laundry slave has had trouble purchasing laundry powder due to stockpiling. There are supplies if you know the right people and have the means to pay , mean being the word. What chance does she have with just a few Grots for supplies when you need Denarri. They don`t call the master Titus for nothing. :silent:

Now where was i ? Oh yes, SPOTY. Did you know, Blackadderus43 has been nominated, no neither did he. :shh: You see, to become a successful charioteer, you need a well greased Hub, strong spokes and a good rim. The chariot wheel for those of you, who are nodding off.
You know how old Lurcio, likes to ramble on and then goes off on a tangent or 2, or even 3, 4 or more, ( notice it rhymed ). Ably aided by his pit crew of Oxgirlium34 and Figgister, he has a well greased machine. Even the Disciples help out by supplying copius amounts of hoseshoes. When it comes to voting for Coach of the Year tonight, it`s Mr B on your scroll pads :clapping: and talking of grease, the jelly beans will be delivered to you by courier, sometime in the future.

Speaking of the future. Life did not return to the old normal but to what would become a new normal, the main thing was that mankind survived.
Salutay !

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At a very low ebb in the year . Came forth a great story teller to tell a tale of woe sprinkled with some welcome mirth ,and hints of joyfulness to brighten up a time of pestilence and great sorrow. How welcome is that.? :lol:
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I love this time of year when Lurcio puts feather to parchment :clapping:

Some mirth and merriment amongst the nonsense of the year :Party:

This has been a tradition for a few years now from Dave, and long may it continue :thumbsup:

Thanks Dave, made me laugh and smile on a cold and dreary sunday :Star:
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Scrubba the laundery slave , :lol: :thumbsup:
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Brilliant, thank you very much for sharing the annual tale of the year with us. Loved it :D :Star:
Yes I really don’t like Roman coins, I’m not joking
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Delighted to see this tradition developed here on TDH
Loved it Dave :thumbsup:
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That's a great story Dave. :thumbsup:
D2 - 13"x11" coil - audio only.
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"Three wise ones?" Wise ones? I think you've confused us with someone else, fellah :lol:

Quality stuff as usual, Dave, and an unexpected delight to see it on these pages.

Thanks for the effort you've put in to providing us with your unique and now traditional take on events :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:
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What a great read, something to smile about at last .
Ten out of ten . :clapping:
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I love it Dave. I couldn't reply to your email because for some reason Hotmail via Chrome is not working properly!! I love the references....I love the subtle nods to so many comedy Gold things i love.
It is great to have a smile....and remember things from happier times. This will be the first Christmas we have had on our own and the first one in 35 years where we haven't sat down to dinner with our dear son Robert. So many tears.
Ah well. Your post bucked me up. Will probably put a Carry On on the TV later...needless to say i have the entire box-set. lol
Merry Christmas and a happy and lucky New Year to everyone from Normandy!
"The forest was shrinking, but the trees kept voting for the axe, for the axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood he was one of them."
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